My mistrust [of men] is not, as one might expect, primarily a result of the violent acts done on my body, nor the vicious humiliations done to my dignity. It is, instead, born of the multitude of mundane betrayals that mark my every relationship with a man—the casual rape joke, the use of a female slur, the careless demonization of the feminine in everyday conversation, the accusations of overreaction, the eye rolling and exasperated sighs in response to polite requests to please not use misogynist epithets in my presence.

(via ceedling)

I have always maintained that no nation can ever be worthy of its existence that cannot take its women along with the men. No struggle can ever succeed without women participating side by side with men. There are two powers in the world; one is the sword and the other is the pen. There is a great competition and rivalry between the two. There is a third power stronger than both, that of the women.

Quaid-e-Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah (via whatifweknew)

In pop culture, girls who crush hopelessly on guys they can’t have are painted as just that – hopeless. Over and over again, we’re taught that girls who openly express sexual or romantic interest in guys who don’t want them are pitiable, stalkerish, desperate, crazy bitches. More often than not, they’re also portrayed as ugly – whether physically, emotionally or both – in order to further establish their undesirability as an objective fact. Both narratively and, as a consequence, in real life, men are given free reign to snub, abuse, mislead and talk down to such women: we’re raised to believe that female desire is unseemly, so that any consequent shaming is therefore deserved. There is no female-equivalent Friend Zone terminology because, in the language of our culture, a man’s romantic choices are considered sacrosanct and inviolable. If a girl has been told no, then she has only herself to blame for anything that happens next – but if a woman says no, then she must not really mean it. Or, if she does, she shouldn’t: the rejected man is a universally sympathetic figure, and everyone from moviegoers to platonic onlookers will scream at her to justgive him a chance, as though her rejection must always be unfounded rather than based on the fact that he had a chance, and blew it. And even then, give him another one! The pathos of Single Nice Guys can only be eased by pity-sex with unwilling women that blossoms into romance!

Lamenting the Friendzone, or: The Nice Guy Approach to Perpetuating Sexist Bullshit  (via waschbar)

This puts me in mind of that total winner of a guy who got dumped by his girlfriend and then proceeded to stand on the subway with a sign about it getting random strangers’ support to “win” her back.

(via panamanianmoon)

For the Men Who Still Don’t Get It

utes4lyfe:

What if 
all women were bigger and stronger than you 
And thought they were smarter 
What if 
women were the ones who started wars 
What if 
too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos 
and no K-Y Jelly 
What if 
the state trooper 
who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike 
was a woman 
and carried a gun 
What if 
the ability to menstruate 
was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs 
What if 
your attractiveness to women depended 
on the size of your penis 
What if 
every time women saw you 
they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands 
What if 
women were always making jokes 
about how ugly penises are 
and how bad sperm tastes 
What if 
you had to explain what’s wrong with your car 
to big sweaty women with greasy hands 
who stared at your crotch 
In a garage where you are surrounded 
by posters of naked men with hard-ons 
What if 
men’s magazines featured cover photos 
of 14-year-old boys 
with socks 
tucked into the front of their jeans 
and articles like: 
“How to tell if your wife is unfaithful” 
or 
“What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate” 
or 
“The truth about impotence” 
What if 
the doctor who examined your prostate 
was a woman 
and called you “Honey” 
What if 
You had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath 
as she insisted that sleeping with her 
was part of the job 
What if 
You couldn’t get away because 
the company dress code required 
you wear shoes 
designed to keep you from running 
And what if 
after all that 
women still wanted you 
to love them.

- Carol Diehl

Well, I am not a fan [of the term “manic pixie dream girl”]. Look, I don’t think of her as that; I hope other people don’t think of her as that. I think if they do they’re misunderstanding the movie. That term is a term that was invented by a blogger, and I think it’s more of a term that applies in critical use than it does in creative use. It’s a way of describing female characters that’s reductive and diminutive, and I think basically misogynist. I’m not saying that some of those characters that have been referred to as that don’t deserve it; I think sometimes filmmakers have not used their imagination in imbuing their female characters with real life. You know, they’ve let music tastes be a signifier of personality. But I just think the term really means nothing; it’s just a way of reducing people’s individuality down to a type, and I think that’s always a bad thing. And I think that’s part of what the movie is about, how dangerous it is to reduce a person down to an idea of a person.

Zoe Kazan on “manic pixie dream girls,” Vulture (via lauranicus)

Being pregnant fucking sucks. All these fucking anti-choice fuckers who act like it’s no big deal growing a human INSIDE YOU for nine fucking months have obviously never been pregnant. It’s not a minor fucking inconvenience. Your body doesn’t feel like your own anymore. And you go to the doctors and you’re like “Umm why the fuck am I taking 7kg shits? And why are my gums bleeding? And why do I vomit every time I piss which is every three seconds” and your doctor is just like “oh this is just part of being pregnant”. And then everyone is like “Enjoy it! You need to embrace it. Eat healthy and get lots of sleep and you’ll be fine” or “I never vomited once when I was pregnant, have you tried yoga?”. And you’re like falling asleep at work and vomiting on yourself during meetings, while trying to do your job even though your brain doesnt seem to work anymore. And you can only just handle ALL OF THIS without having a nervous breakdown because you’ve been trying for a baby for four years and it has finally happened. Imagine if you didn’t want it? It would actually be torture. And yet these anti-choice assholes are always like “It’s just nine months, then you can adopt it out” etc. I would write a post about it, but I can’t. Because I’m so fucking exhausted I feel like my face is going to fall off, even though I had a four hour nap today. I actually want to set fire to everything right now. I want to stab the world in the face.

boganette  (via kindlemyheart)

Women who have sex are shamed by being called sluts. Women who don’t have sex are shamed by being considered boring prudes. Women who watch after themselves at public events are deemed man-hating spawns of Lucifer. Women who are comfortable in public are loose bitches who are asking for sexual assault. Women who are independent and career driven are labeled intimidating and unapproachable, especially women of color, even though reports continue to show successful women are willing to forsake their own standards to settle own. Women who would rather be stay at home moms are criticized for being lazy and contributing nothing, which again proves why motherhood and the tedious never yielding tasks that come with it are under-appreciated. There’s no winning if you are a woman. Someone is going to have a problem with you no matter what you do. It’s womanhood that’s the problem, not sexual activity.

eastafrodite (via soambitchous)

mehreenkasana:

thalamtnafsee:

I think this deserves a standing ovation in front of the mainstream feminists who have constantly dehumanized and demeaned our existence as Muslim women by suggesting that we’re oppressed people. This deserves a standing ovation in front of the hundreds of men who have claimed that the religion of Islam does not tolerate liberated and free women (which is, of course, contrary to the teachings of Muhammad). This deserves recognition; Muslim women are participating in wrestling, swimming, shooting, and other physically demanding sports while wearing the physical hijab.
All of you are my role models; go kick me some misogynistic ass ladies!

And many more hijabis and Muslim WOC representing. You women are amazing.
Zoom Info
mehreenkasana:

thalamtnafsee:

I think this deserves a standing ovation in front of the mainstream feminists who have constantly dehumanized and demeaned our existence as Muslim women by suggesting that we’re oppressed people. This deserves a standing ovation in front of the hundreds of men who have claimed that the religion of Islam does not tolerate liberated and free women (which is, of course, contrary to the teachings of Muhammad). This deserves recognition; Muslim women are participating in wrestling, swimming, shooting, and other physically demanding sports while wearing the physical hijab.
All of you are my role models; go kick me some misogynistic ass ladies!

And many more hijabis and Muslim WOC representing. You women are amazing.
Zoom Info
mehreenkasana:

thalamtnafsee:

I think this deserves a standing ovation in front of the mainstream feminists who have constantly dehumanized and demeaned our existence as Muslim women by suggesting that we’re oppressed people. This deserves a standing ovation in front of the hundreds of men who have claimed that the religion of Islam does not tolerate liberated and free women (which is, of course, contrary to the teachings of Muhammad). This deserves recognition; Muslim women are participating in wrestling, swimming, shooting, and other physically demanding sports while wearing the physical hijab.
All of you are my role models; go kick me some misogynistic ass ladies!

And many more hijabis and Muslim WOC representing. You women are amazing.
Zoom Info
mehreenkasana:

thalamtnafsee:

I think this deserves a standing ovation in front of the mainstream feminists who have constantly dehumanized and demeaned our existence as Muslim women by suggesting that we’re oppressed people. This deserves a standing ovation in front of the hundreds of men who have claimed that the religion of Islam does not tolerate liberated and free women (which is, of course, contrary to the teachings of Muhammad). This deserves recognition; Muslim women are participating in wrestling, swimming, shooting, and other physically demanding sports while wearing the physical hijab.
All of you are my role models; go kick me some misogynistic ass ladies!

And many more hijabis and Muslim WOC representing. You women are amazing.
Zoom Info
mehreenkasana:

thalamtnafsee:

I think this deserves a standing ovation in front of the mainstream feminists who have constantly dehumanized and demeaned our existence as Muslim women by suggesting that we’re oppressed people. This deserves a standing ovation in front of the hundreds of men who have claimed that the religion of Islam does not tolerate liberated and free women (which is, of course, contrary to the teachings of Muhammad). This deserves recognition; Muslim women are participating in wrestling, swimming, shooting, and other physically demanding sports while wearing the physical hijab.
All of you are my role models; go kick me some misogynistic ass ladies!

And many more hijabis and Muslim WOC representing. You women are amazing.
Zoom Info
mehreenkasana:

thalamtnafsee:

I think this deserves a standing ovation in front of the mainstream feminists who have constantly dehumanized and demeaned our existence as Muslim women by suggesting that we’re oppressed people. This deserves a standing ovation in front of the hundreds of men who have claimed that the religion of Islam does not tolerate liberated and free women (which is, of course, contrary to the teachings of Muhammad). This deserves recognition; Muslim women are participating in wrestling, swimming, shooting, and other physically demanding sports while wearing the physical hijab.
All of you are my role models; go kick me some misogynistic ass ladies!

And many more hijabis and Muslim WOC representing. You women are amazing.
Zoom Info

mehreenkasana:

thalamtnafsee:

I think this deserves a standing ovation in front of the mainstream feminists who have constantly dehumanized and demeaned our existence as Muslim women by suggesting that we’re oppressed people. This deserves a standing ovation in front of the hundreds of men who have claimed that the religion of Islam does not tolerate liberated and free women (which is, of course, contrary to the teachings of Muhammad). This deserves recognition; Muslim women are participating in wrestling, swimming, shooting, and other physically demanding sports while wearing the physical hijab.

All of you are my role models; go kick me some misogynistic ass ladies!

And many more hijabis and Muslim WOC representing. You women are amazing.

Muslim Women Agency

oppressedbrowngirlsdoingthings:

Mehreen Kasana here.

Looks like I’m in charge for tonight. Sometimes ignorance can really get to our heads especially when some folks on Tumblr assume Muslim women need the “most saving” because their religion is the “most sexist.” It’s amazing how - and this isn’t just a Tumblr phenomenon - many people on this micro-blogging forum have yet to read the entire Quran in its context and massive history. To take one verse out and misconstrue it endlessly, only proves ignorance on said person’s part. I’ve never known of Laci Green. I never cared, honestly speaking. I’ve had better sources of sex positive education than a racist, xenophobic YouTube pseudo-star who incorrectly claims that a supposedly half-Iranian person can’t be Islamophobic. Shocker: Many POC are Islamophobic, it’s not a matter of race as much as it is a matter of ideological conflict.

I’ve had terribly Islamophobic people accusing my faith of practices that aren’t theological but cultural, yet these people had the audacity to claim ‘authentic’ knowledge of Islam. Conflating culture with religion is a dangerous comprehension of communities and it leads to what we have witnessed in history the justification of wars, colonialism and imperialist-driven ‘saving’ of indigenous women. Many of you need to immediately reevaluate your understanding of the East and its culture(s). You need to read extensively about orientalism, colonialism, imperialism and their collective abuse of religion and politics that naturally affected both men and women.

So let’s start with a 101 brief introduction to books the uninitiated need to read if they do indeed want to be part of the Muslim women agency discourse. If you don’t study these or related work(s), you’re not well equipped with our history, our faith and our highly complex, richly diverse identity. Stay quiet then.

Here are some e-books by my favorite Muslim feminists or, as some of them insist to be called, gender-egalitarianists (considering their legitimate issues with the Western origin of feminism). Try finding work by Asma Barlas (Pakistani), Ziba Mir Hosseini (Iranian), Sadiyya Shaikh (Sudanese), Fadwa Al Labadi (Palestinian), Azizah al Hibri, Abdessamad Dialmy (Moroccan), Rozana Isa (Malaysian), Suha Taji-Faruqi.

Let’s just remember one basic fact: If you are not Muslim, let alone female Muslim, you cannot and should not speak for us or our goals and priorities in life. Many of us follow a definition of progress that is inherently contrary to yours. To force us into accepting your idea of success and empowerment is to do what colonialists and imperialists did and continue doing. Remember when I said this?

I’m a Muslim woman. And I’m not oppressed by my religion.

What oppresses me as a citizen and as a human being is the patriarchal interpretation of Islamic teachings, cultural distortion of basic theological beliefs and man-made rules directed cruelly at women only. What ties me down and suffocates me is gender discrimination done as a result of following back-breaking mores. But, above all, what oppresses me is the common man’s basic mistake of believing what he hears from malicious conservatives. You can help me from being oppressed by simply using your head for a change. When you hear someone say, “Oh, the hijab’s only a symbol of misogyny”, you can stop for a second, do your research and realize that, no, it’s a practice that the majority respectfully believes in for all sorts of reasons. You can also realize that the author of this post isn’t wearing a hijab at all. For a rational Muslim, it’s all about the freedom to choose. You can sit back and delete that ill-informed hate speech you had ready. You can learn that objectivity plays a key role when you’re studying other people’s religion.

Your ignorance and usage of savior, racist rhetoric is oppressive. There is no denying that there is sexism in cultures - have a look at the hyper sexualized image of a woman in modern day America - but you will never hear a critic castigate Christianity, you won’t find critics lambasting Western ideas of women representation and such. Which highlights the hypocrisy found in the discourse concerning Muslim women and their empowerment. No one asked you to liberate us. One of the reasons why Muslim women remain reluctant, including myself, to participate in white mainstream feminism is because of the shameless denial of privilege on part of white feminists and also because our bodies and identities are turned into battlefields. Read this part from my essay: The Other-izing of Muslim Women in Western Feminism and Hegemonic Discourse(s). Our issues are prioritized according to white feminists’ preferences. If that’s ‘feminism’, none of us want to be part of it.

So let’s get one thing clear in today’s lesson: Matters aren’t as simple as you folks assume them to be. Religion, politics, personal identity, regions, cultures, timeline(s) of historical events affect gender politics in ways that are beyond your imagination. Think a few hundred times before you decide to talk about a religion and culture you don’t belong to.

The Prophet cooked his own food, cleaned his own clothes, and took out his own trash, your wives are not you’re maids, ya ikhwaan, they are your partners, do not treat them like dogs, or you are a rejector of the Sunnah of the Prophet

Dawud bin Isa (via islamthesolution)

Women are socialized to make men feel good. We’re socialized to “let you down easy.” We’re not socialized to say a clear and direct “no.” We’re socialized to speak in hints and boost egos and let people save face. People who don’t respect the social contract (rapists, predators, assholes, pickup artists) are good at taking advantage of this. “No” is something we have to learn. “No” is something we have to earn. In fact, I’d argue that the ability to just say “no” to something, without further comment, apology, explanation, guilt, or thinking about it is one of the great rites of passage in growing up, and when you start saying it and saying it regularly the world often pushes back. And calls you names.

The art of “no.” « CaptainAwkward.com (via delascielo)

my life

(via smashedwordbrokenopen)

I don’t want to be a feminist anymore. Like a five-year-old, I want to close my eyes, stick my fingers in my ears, stomp my feet on the floor and scream “No! No, you cannot make me, I won’t, leave me alone!” I am, simply put, too tired. So very, very tired.

I am tired of fighting with my friends. I am tired of arguing that someone groping and slapping my butt isn’t “what I have to expect”, just because I’m at a bar, and the one attacking my butt has a drink in the other hand. I am tired of hearing “boys will be boys” and “when you’re dressed like that …” and “that’s just what guys do”. I am tired of trying to drown those sentiments in loud, repetitive no’s, screamed over and over again, till my throat is sore and my voice weak – just to hear them repeated, as soon as exhaustion threatens to silence me.

I am tired of being afraid. I am tired of seeing someone writing something offensive, sexist, racist, ageist, ableist, somewhere online. I am tired of seeing those writings getting likes and lol’s, and SO TRUE’s. I am tired of being consumed by confusion and anger, typing, typing, typing and typing a seemingly endless response, including research, links and statistics, and then hesitate clicking “submit”. I am tired of knowing that I hesitate because I am afraid of the flood of responses that will come. I am tired of knowing that I will be bombarded with lighten up’s, stop whining’s and get a sense of humor’s for so long, that I will start to wonder if I am indeed wound up too tight, a nagger and humorless. I am tired of the fact that I’m afraid of being called a cunt, even though I don’t find genitalia insulting or demeaning.

I don’t want to be a feminist anymore. (via gingerrqueer)

Wearing the hijab doesn’t have to be about religious dedication. For me, it is political, feminist and empowering…

I do not believe that the hair in itself is that important; this is not about protection from men’s lusts. It is me telling the world that my femininity is not available for public consumption. I am taking control of it, and I don’t want to be part of a system that reduces and demeans women. Behind this exterior I am a person – and it is this person for which I want to be known.

Nadiya Takolia, “The hijab has liberated me from society’s expectations of women” (via papayalily)
Insh’Allah —Salaamchica (via salaamchica)

The institution of marriage is not under attack as a result of the President’s words. Marriage was under attack years ago by men who viewed women as property and children as trophies of sexual prowess. Marriage is under attack by low wages, high incarceration, unfair tax policy, unemployment, and lack of education. Marriage is under attack by clergy who proclaim monogamy yet think nothing of stepping outside the bonds of marriage to have multiple affairs with “preaching groupies.”

Rev. Otis Moss III, Senior Pastor of Trinity United Church of Christ (via touchoftea)

(Pastor Moss is awesome, y’all.)